Sunday, 17 February 2013

Dedicated to all Stay-At-Home Moms


After some thought I finally decided that this blog would stress more on my experience as a Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM). Not because I am a good SAHM, but because after being one, I realise that it was tough and most of the times, we find ourselves at the end of our wits and do not know where to seek for help.

When I became a full time mom in August 2011, my son was 14 months old. I was worried that I was not feeding him enough and I had to call several friends who are also SAHMs for their advices. I also spent a lot of time searching online for recipe ideas to serve my little one. When my son refused to eat for the entire day, again, I would be so worried that I ended up calling almost all my SAHM friends for help. However, I realise that I could not keep on calling my friends as they are also very busy with their own lives. That was when I started looking for help online and was so glad that I stumbled upon Circle of Moms It is such a great website where I get opinions and all sort of help and advices from more experienced SAHMs.

Now that I have a little bit of extra time to do blogging, I gather that I should share my experiences to the other SAHMs.

I hope that this blog would:
  1. serve as a reminder for myself that I am not the only SAHM who needs help
  2. be able to encourage other SAHMs, help build up their self confidence and to be proud of their job (well, SAHM is a job, and a really tough one)
  3. help other lonely SAHMs to find a new life after taking up this unglamorous yet noble job.
I also hope that I would be able to exchange thoughts and opinions with other SAHMs who read this blog.

Feeding JS his lunch. When he was about one, he started having porridge for lunch and dinner.                  


As a start, I would like to share my first experience when I first took over the job from my nanny.

Frankly, I cried a lot. I hated being alone with my son and had no adult to talk to.

First, he refused to drink his milk for about 2 weeks or so and only preferred to eat. I did not know whether it was normal and I even went to consult a pediatrician who told me that it was fine.

I spent a lot of money making calls, asking relatives and friends what was wrong with my son. The nanny fed him once every two hours but she was alternating between milk and porridge or milk and bread but when he was with me, he did not want any milk. I ended up feeding him bread for breakfast, then mashed banana for snack, porridge for lunch, then bread with egg for snack, then porridge for dinner. It was always porridge for lunch and as for breakfast and snacks, I tried many different foods from yogurt to avocado and cake. During that time, I practically spent the entire day preparing his meals and feeding him. In short, no milk at all for about 2 weeks before he started drinking again.

Then, he also refused to take his nap. He was suppose to take his nap twice, once in the morning, after his snack and once after lunch. However, it was extremely difficult to get him to sleep and he would cry out loud when he realised that I was trying to make him fall asleep. In the end, I held him in my arms and sang some songs (eg: Humpty Dumpty, Rock-A-Bye Baby) until he falls asleep. Sometimes, he would cry again when I put him down on his bed and so I had to carry him up again and continue to sing for about 5 minutes or so before trying to put him down again.

Trust me. It was tiring. Besides playing and singing with him for about 30-40mins after his breakfast, I would just let the TV do the babysitting for me. I knew that it was a mistake but I could not help it. I had too many things to do. Well, and there is a price to pay for every mistake you make. I spent a few months' time to help him get rid of his addiction to the TV. I'll talk about this in a different post.

A few weeks after taking up this job, I started to regret it. I thought: "I am worse than a maid because I am not paid for what I am doing. I have no friends to talk to and I am trapped in this house all day long."

BUT, I love my baby and I want to prove to myself that I can be a good mother. What does it make me if I can earn enough money to live the life that I want and to earn the approvals of my superiors at work BUT I CANNOT even take good care of my son?

So, I told myself that those who fail are those who quit too easily. I began to shift my attention from being self pity to making my son happy.

I am glad that I persevered. It was an experience that you and your child would only have ONCE in a lifetime.

So, I urge all SAHMs to look at the bright side and trust me, there will always be a rainbow after the rain.

And lastly, I would like to dedicate this post to a friend who just joined the SAHM Club recently. All the best to you!

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